What I Wish People Understood About Introverts

As people learn more about the differences in personalities, new articles and books are written about it; enabling us to understand others’ point of views. Which is very important for humans as we battle through life, cohabiting in close proximities and constantly making new acquaintances.

I don’t speak for all introverts, obviously, as we’re not all of one mind. So this post is based on my opinion, and conclusions, that I’ve gathered from being an introvert in an extroverted world.

What do I wish people understood about introverts? Well…

Introverts are perfectly fine at home

In fact, there is nowhere else they would rather be. So, don’t feel sorry for someone you think spends a lot of time inside. If they’re an introvert, they probably couldn’t be happier to spend some time re-charging at home on their days off. Especially if they work in a social environment.

I work in retail and have to dish out customer service all day, which is extremely tiring. My home is my hygge; it’s where I long to go after a hard day, and where I want to stay after a week of work.

introverts' paradise: a small home in the middle of trees, a cute pink bicycle resting on it, and autumn leaves in front
My home / my love

It can be a little intimidating when people ask us introverts what we’ve been up to, because we don’t want to be judged as lazy.

We definitely stayed at home reading a book instead of going hiking and cycling and brunching. But doesn’t mean we don’t have fun in life or that we “need to get out more”.

Forcing someone to be social causes unnecessary anxiety

This is one of my pet peeves, and one I had to inform my extroverted partner on straight away. Perhaps it’s the stubborn side of me that feels this way, but if someone tries to force me into doing something I don’t want to do, especially regarding a social event/situation, I will not be happy with them and I certainly will not agree to go.

There is a fine line between telling an introvert that you want them with you for their lovely company and harassing them to be there. Trying to convince someone to go somewhere when they have turned you down is really unfair. All it does is make the person uncomfortable and agree under pressure.

Even so, introverts like to be invited to stuff even if they don’t intend to go – they will come if they really want to!

most introverts' fave spot: a cosy nook (photo of a sofa with a kindle and a cup of tea on it, fluffy cushions, a cat, with a view of a gloomy outside world)
Choosing this over a pint at the pub

Making friends is not easy

Introverts who don’t particularly enjoy people’s company, find it really hard to make friends (shocker). Therefore, it’s nice when an extrovert gives us an opportunity to be social should we want to, and when they kind of adopt us.

Saying that, I have had extroverts try to be friends with me but sometimes the connection just isn’t there. Introverts I think, more so that extroverts, want real bonds with those who understand who they are.

Clingy and intense friends are not usually introverts’ jam. And – forgive me for sounding a little like a wounded animal here – but I get freaked out when an enthusiastically social and outdoorsy extrovert tries to befriend me!

Nonetheless, we greatly appreciate people’s kindness, and offers of friendships when it naturally develops.

Introverts usually prefer animal companionship

A lot of us find socialising with people to be draining, and sometimes outright unenjoyable. To me, it really is a chore to hang out with people I don’t know, and all I want to do is be at home with my cat.

Whether extroverts understand it or not, human interaction just isn’t high on our list of priorities, but having animals in our lives is.

An introvert might genuinely enjoy your company but will still need their own space, so try not to take that personally.

an introvert and her fur baby
My bestie, Tess

They wish the world was more introvert-friendly

Everything about our existence revolves around being social nowadays. So much so that I reveled during our two covid lockdowns! You have no idea how happy I was not to see anyone except my partner and cat for weeks at a time.

Some of the extroverted annoyances we have to deal with are; calls. Why can’t you text?! Face-to-face meetings, umm that could have gone in an email. Hang out at the pub? Please, what about picking out books from the library, or a picnic at the park.

Zoom and working from home have really been a blessing for introverts, but I think even extroverts have benefited from some of these changes that covid and social distancing have brought about too.

Introverts are not broken, or weird

It is estimated that 25% to 40% of the world is introverted, yet it seems that there is still a misconception about introverts being weird. But just as I have mentioned, it is hard for us to make friends in the conventional way, because we don’t like going out to the pub, or take part in social hobbies.

We may like to stay home with indoor hobbies, and yeah, we may come across as the outsider but that doesn’t mean we’re odd. We just take pleasure in different things! And that is okay.

an introvert's desk, with a laptop, cup of tea and stationary
My cosy corner in the spare room, where I write to penpals and blog

Alright, I guess that’s all I wish people understood about introverts.

If you’re an extrovert, do you realise how hard some of everyday situations are for introverts to deal with? And if you’re an introvert, is there anything else you would add to this list?

Until Next Time,

M

19 responses to “What I Wish People Understood About Introverts”

  1. Firstly, you got a nice cat. After reading this article, I am wondering if I am becoming an introvert I tend to mingle with people. But I rarely go out. I have a traveler inside my mind, but I don’t travel. Nice article !

    1. Thank you πŸ™‚ ahh yes I like to travel and read about traveling too, and at the same time still like being at home lol thanks for reading!

  2. I definitely relate to this post! I am not as introverted as I used to be, but I find it so hard to make friends. I actually find it a bit hard to be friends with only introverts, I feel like you definitely need an extrovert so that there’s some more conversation and you don’t always have to be the one talking x

    1. Same, harder when you’re an adult than it used to be for sure. Yes I think that’s true as well! x

  3. So so so true! These are the things that I struggle with as an introvert. People always think I’m weird just because I prefer to have small circles of friends, and not into socialising that much. Even my parents always believe that it’s not good for just to stay at home. That want me to go out more often and socialise with people. But reality is I love staying at home doing my own activities.

    1. I believe it’s good to do what feels right, and spend time where you feel at peace! Going out with friends can be beneficial but not being forced out for no reason hah x

  4. I always say I’m an extroverted introvert because I’m a bit in the middle. I like to be at home doing my own thing, but I love to be out and about with 1 person or on my own. I also used to love working in the office (mainly because I like to chat), but am now loving working from home which I didn’t think I’d enjoy. I think I’m better motivated when there are people around me though – working in coffee shops I’m really productive – because I’m not interrupted, I’m still working on my own, but there’s a bit of a buzz. Nothing like at home where I have to work in silence. But parties, and going out with lots of people, I become much more quiet. I’m just a bit of a mish mash

    1. Ohh that is interesting! I think it’s about what or where you’re comfortable with.. and like you said, you love to chat, but you don’t crave lots of friends and you enjoy being alone. I would agree there are definitely extroverted introverts and introverted extroverts

  5. I love this! I’m definitely more of an introvert than an extrovert and I really agree with all of this. Making new friends always terrifies me and honestly I’m happiest reading or watching a movie at home! Thank you so much for sharing x

    1. Haha always nice to hear that there are other people feeling the same!x

  6. Yaasss introverts unite!

  7. I do relate to this post. I find it hard to explain to lots of people that I am ok with solitude when I choose it and in fact it is something I really need. There is nothing wrong with us. It is just how we are. Loved how you pointed most of our feelings πŸ™‚

    1. Yeah – I don’t think people get ot sometimes. Many people hate being alone so I think it’s hard for them to understand those of us who seek solitude! Thanks πŸ™‚

  8. […] they really were the highlight of the day, weren’t they? (Okay, not really for an introvert like me, but I did enjoy them, a […]

  9. […] What I wish people understood about introverts […]

  10. I’m an introvert and am perfectly comfortable with my own company; it can be exhausting to socialize sometimes (but I still make an effort). This was great to read as I feel like I understand this aspect of myself a bit better!

    1. Same here. It’s good to go out of your comfort zone to socialise sometimes and spend time doing something different, but I find I always need to recharge afterwards!

  11. Love this! πŸ™‚ I’m an introvert and agree with everything you mentioned.

    1. It’s hard when other people don’t realise all this isn’t it! Thanks for reading x

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